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“And here in my isolation I can grow stronger. Poetry seems to come of itself, without effort, and I need only let myself dream a little while painting to suggest it.” ~ (Paul Gauguin)

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I am often called a recluse, a hermit,  an agoraphobic, depressed and/or a loner. I have been accused of avoiding or running away from my problems or escaping and hiding from the world. This is all humorous to me for several reasons. Most of all being that I have felt this was something that I needed to defend or explain. On more than one occasion, I’ve questioned why my desire for solitude is stronger than my desire to engage outside of my “queendom”. The answer is simple.

My creative fire has been burning full force again. Last night I painted until the morning hours on a few fun things and baked a cake in between the paint drying times. It was so cool to look at the clock when I pulled the two 8″ rounds out of the oven and see that it was exactly twelve o’clock midnight. In that moment it became a “magical cake”! My black cat sat on the kitchen floor watching me bake, so that really added to the “good witch” feel of the whole experience. I finished reading my friend, Kathy Cano- Murillo’s latest craft novel, “Waking Up In The Land Of Glitter” and was inspired to create and bake. I even went outside for a little moonlight garden watering.

It could not have been nearly as rewarding if someone else was in the scene. It was just me, my quiet animal friends, plants, and my own thoughts. I heart those moments the most of all.

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“Of course, when one is faced with a canvas, one is no longer alone, and the sense of solitude diminishes. This can be an agreeable passage of time. In fact, solitude then becomes a kind of companion.” ~ (Pierre Alechinsky)

Tah Dah! I met my deadline and the “En El Jardin De Frida” is hanging in the Phoenix Frida’s Folk Art Exhibition at 500 south Mill Avenue. It runs from March 5th through July 14th. It was next to impossible to take good photos through the windows of the installation and it was still in progress when I left, so no actually photos of the finished installation. Sorry!

Today I am back to making more coloring books. I have a couple of huge wholesale orders. Thank goodness for good friends ~ a dear friend is coming over to help me put these together and get them on their way. I think that I have some of the best friends in the world and am very fortunate to be surrounded by the light and love of wonderful people. One friend, in particular, is always there to lend a helping hand. She has been with me all the way through the brain surgeries and beyond. When I am feeling discombobulated, she is there to keep things going smoothly. ~ I feel a retreat coming in our near future!

Hawk medicine flew into my stormy, Tuesday morning as I prepared my gardens for flowers and planted bell peppers and strawberries in containers. Hawk is “The Messenger”, teaching us to examine life from a higher perspective giving us a broader view as we circle over our own lives. The Red Tail Feathered Hawk is my earth totem. Hawk medicine people are aware of omens and messages from the spirit. I am mystified and in great awe whenever I see a hawk. I feel some kind of deep connection to them, feeling that there is something that I need to pay attention to when they fly into sight. Although they are quite common in Arizona, they are not as common in the big city. Occasionally you will see them circling overhead caught in a tailwind or searching for food in the middle of Phoenix, but they are much more abundant in the outlaying areas, in the low and high deserts. Shortly after this great morning magic, I retreated to my room and pulled out my Medicine Cards. Medicine in the Native American tradition is “anything that brings personal power, strength, and understanding.”The number 2 card in the deck begins with the poem;

Hawk…  Messenger of the sky,

Circle my dreams and teach me

The message as we fly.

“Hawk has a keen eye and a bold heart, for Hawk flies close to the light of Grandfather Sun.” Although I did a short “Butterfly Reading” and the Hawk card was not pulled during the reading, I still felt that it held some significance due to Hawk’s morning visit as it circled over me for quite awhile. Generally, the first sign of a nearby Hawk is the scattering of all of the smaller birds. ~ just fascinating ~

After I did the reading, I laid down for a short nap thinking about the Frida painting that I need to complete for an installation window display in downtown Tempe with the Phoenix Fridas. The installation date is March 4th, I have a 36″x36″ blank canvas. After falling into the dream time, I awoke with creativity raging through my veins. AH! Finally, I knew that some sort of inspiration would appear at the perfect time. Up until this morning my head was as blank as the canvas. The ideas and designs flowed through my little pencil stub, only stopping for a moment to realize how different this painting is materializing than most of the others. The process feels familiar, yet foreign at the same time. I am chalking it all up to Hawk medicine, giving credit where credit is due. There is even a deer in the painting, the first time that I have ever painted one. Deer medicine is “gentleness”, but that is a whole other story and I won’t go into that! I LOVE taking cues from animals and nature. It definitely adds magic to the journey.

“Have the colors of the morning inspired you to create?”

Day five of ” a painting everyday”. I am loving filling my time with these small gems! As much joy as I find through painting larger paintings, these small paintings are like little desserts for my soul. It is wonderful to remain in motion instead of idling and watching paint dry. I guess it is a form of multi-tasking, which is something that was not recommended by my neuro doctors. How else am I going to completely reconnect in this world without multi-tasking? I was also told that I could never “bend over” for the rest of my life! SERIOUSLY! How is that even possible? Needless to say, I have ignored many of the doctors advice and I think that I am better off for it!

So, day five and still painting strong!

“Fish in the sea, you know how I feel ~ River running free, you know how I feel ~ Blossoms on the tree, you know how I feel”

I apologize to my close friends and social circle for not being available very much lately. As much as I would love to keep on top of things, I am having such a difficult time achieving that goal. Many things are changing in my home life. People and things are shifting around making way for changes in the flow and rhythm of my life. This is all good. I am doing my best to stay balanced in a raging river. My focus is on my art and I’m channeling my energy into that full time.

There is an abundance of art shows to prepare for and projects lining up, so this has left little time for my social life. The good news for me is that painting and creating is my passion. It is PURE BLISS. I LOVE getting lost in the whole dance of painting and creating something that I have not created before. I am always surprised at the completion of each painting, as I rarely know where I am going with it as I wonder through the creative process. Each painting is a stranger and we become acquainted as the images emerge and begin to form its story along the way. It is definitely a trippy journey. Even if I reproduce a painting, they are never quite exactly alike. The messages or words, subjects and designs may be the same, but they always morph into their own uniqueness. ~ In an artful journey there are so many metaphors to life ~ Very similar to gardening, I find.

So……. I can’t really say too much at this time, but there are some changes occurring around here that will enable me to move into my new, bigger studio space. That will also be key to a BRAND NEW, EXCITING opportunity! Until then, I am just enjoying the flow and my life in it and waiting on the Universe to guide me to the next place.

~*~

“Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That’s what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel”

Whew! I am through stretching for awhile and have found my way back home to my art! This, of course, is in progress. I truly have no idea where this is going, but I can relate to her. Dreaming and falling wide awake. Peaceful, yet there is action. I think she is flying to some mystical place in her mind. AH…. I want to go along! So, I am thoroughly enjoying painting this and following wherever it takes me.

“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
Its only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and…
Have you any dreams you’d like to sell”

( ~ Fleetwood Mac ~ )

Today another painting was born. I have had my head in the clouds, literally. Nothing like feeling that I’m in the sky with diamonds with 60’s music playing in the air, incense puffs of floral aroma filling my studio and changing my world. AH! Ever so wonderful!

Here she is…  Miss “In The Sky With Diamonds”….

” Red is gray and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion ”

Little by little, I am working on finishing this painting that I began over a year ago. I still have a ways to go, but, TODAY IS THE DAY! That is what I keep telling myself, anyway! This is the little adobe house that I am visualizing for us in Sedona. We haven’t found the perfect place yet, so I figured that I need to paint the possibilities. Sort of like a vision board. I’m sure that the Universe has been working on the details for us and maybe I just need to finish this and move the energy around a little! Check back later and see the finished painting! HA HA HA!! Maybe one more coffee will help. Already have the music cranked up and incense burning. Magic is in the air!

Note to self….choose paint colors that I have enough of to finish the job!  I tend to create challenges for myself that are unnecessary. I needed to paint in window shutters and a door frame. I have, at least, a couple hundred bottles of paint on hand at all times. So, you would think that I would choose a color that I have plenty of when I need to cover an area on the canvas. But, NOOOOOOO! I really, really wanted to use the peach color that is drying out and only has a tiny amount left in the bottle. I’m thinking, “what the hell?”. Actually, I wasn’t thinking at all!! After I began using the peach, I am now wondering if I will be able to scrape up enough to do a second or third coat. It would have been SO MUCH EASIER to just choose a different color that has an ample amount to work with. It was in that easy~breezy, artist moment that I realized how difficult I make things on myself sometimes. Probably more times than I recognize. I am bent on using the peach for the door frame and window shutters, so tomorrow the verdict will be in. I will know if there is enough without having to make a run to the art supply store.

Eye Yi Yi !!

Not very interesting news, just a moment in the mind of an ordinary artist.

AH! The end of another BEAUTIFUL day. I am on a manic painting mission again. Inspiration is coming at me from all sides. However, the big things are not what grabs my attention and tickles my fancy. The small, mundane, everyday things are most often what ignites my creative fire. Today a visit to the bookstore and the natural food store filled my senses and I couldn’t wait to come home, light some incense, put on some good music and work on a painting that I have in progress. It’s funny what can invoke a creative mood.  I have come to recognize that I sort of have some little rituals when I paint. I definitely burn A LOT of incense (LOVE it)! Music is a ‘MUST HAVE’. It is a plus if the windows are open…. especally when it is raining and the weather is nice. Unfortunately, it is hot now and we are locked behind closed windows with the air conditioning keeping us from melting. I am really looking forward to moving to cooler and higher ground. Until then, this is where I am and everything is as it is. And everything is perfect.

A painting that is near and dear to my heart just moved to Sedona this weekend. The Beatle’s song, “She’s Leaving Home” plays in my head! (bye bye….)

I am happy that she has found a wonderful, new home.

~ “STILL BREATHING” ~

I finally finished “BED OF ROSES”, and she is temporarily hanging over my piano.

It was nice creating and spending time with this one. We got to know each other pretty well! HA! Sometimes my paintings really show me who I am. A lot of solutions to problems have been found just by painting. It allows me to slip into another dimension or world for awhile without leaving the world that I am living in. Mind travel and day tripping is freedom.